My stomach doesn’t drop when I hear your name anymore.

thethinwin:

I don’t understand why people would romanticize eating disorders. Please tell me how the fuck you find it admirable that I starve myself and exercise like crazy in hopes of getting a thigh gap, prominent bones and a specific weight. And please you tell me how the fuck you find it beautiful that I sit in front of a toilet with tears and vomit running down my face after every fucking meal I eat.

And if you could just please tell me how you could want to voluntary be like me, a messed up human who hates herself if she eats over 500 calories a day or if she forgets to do the planned exercise one day.

If this is the first time you’re on the tag “thinspiration” or such on tumblr, please please please leave this place. Even if you in the beginning just look because you find it interesting, trust me, you’ll after a while want to achieve the skinniness some of the girls in the pictures, even though you find some of them way too skinny.

There’s nothing admirable or beautiful about having an eating disorder. I miss the time where I didn’t worry that much about my weight and my body fat, but I can’t seem to get away from it now.  I mean, I made this account because I fucking wanted inspiration on how to keep away from food. So if you still have the chance, please get away from this tag, eating disorders and all that bullshit.

You’re beautiful, and your weight isn’t what defines you.

Stay safe.

I never had more trouble to keep on breathing

stilllookingforblackrainbows:

When you wanted to know “did you have a hard time” when we talked about times I had anorexia and I responsed “obviously” you asked for the reason but I tried to avoid giving an answer because it would’ve been to difficult to explain every little thing making me feel not good enough and besides I’m not good at talking about feelings. You surely thought it’s been the hardest time in my life but I can tell you, right now is even harder. You are gone and I am fat again and everything in my life drops down not seeing you anymore, not having heard your voice in 3 weeks, not being able to smell your scent in 4 and your name not popping up at my display anymore. I think I never had more trouble to keep on breathing

I ruined myself for a lot of people that werent even worth it

- Unknown (via fearlessknightsandfairytales)